Mother says, "Honey, its freezing." Dad answers back. "Well, I'm hot and my nose feels stuffy." I then chime in, "I'm freezing too." But dad just had to keep it on 69 degrees so mother threw on her big black overcoat and I grabbed dad's sports jacket and she and I just snuggled deeper into the leather seats of the rental car.
This is my life with my parents for the next few days....
These few days have been incredible! I've picked their brains with questions I have had for some time. I've debated with them, goofed off, and then we have laughed and laughed until we had tears in our eyes. I've come to the conclusion that I am indeed a mixture of both of my parents. They both at times can be stubborn as a mule, and definitely opinionated when need be. They are also very sensitive to Gods spirit-several times while driving to our place of destination they would break out and start praying and I would hear them call out the names of people they were feeling a burden for-talk about a Tear Jerker experience! They are full of passion, vision and still are both dreaming big dreams. Dad I think has the brain of a 30 year old, some of the things he was telling me I was like, "Are you sure you are 72?" He still has his head in the clouds some would say, but I love it! He inspires me to fly high and not listen to negativity when it comes and perches itself upon my brain trying to get in and derail me and my mission. He has told me several times, "The battle is in the mind, if the enemy gets you there He's got you. That is why its important to guard what you allow to enter the mind." I don't see my dad sitting in a rocking chair rocking his life away for some time. My mother has been re-arranging their Stockton home working like a dog and has other things on her agenda. She is one who always has a few projects going on at 1 time. I'd say her Patent on life is, "You are what you feed your mind." "Your speech determines where you are headed." She and dad are always talking positive, and when the storms hit them they still see the rainbow even when it seems that they have been drenched in mud. It's a learned behavior because we are programmed to automatically focus on the negative. But we have had some great talks about health, blind faith, relationship with Jesus, and getting to that place where you are content but yet at the same time flying towards dreams and your purpose in life. (There really is too much information to type so I'm just typing out bits and pieces)
Mother made the best health friendly meals, one being veggie stir-fry with pasta and yes I gobbled up every bite. Then she made these amazing veggie tacos topped with sliced avacados which I posted on my recipe blog. I plan to make them at home for my luvie, so amazing! For dessert we had gluten free panacakes topped with peanut butter and homemade strawberry jelly, pure maple syrup with coffee and herbal tea. I also made the Delicio Salsa that I posted on my blog that my friend Deidre shared with me. My parents have been eating it non-stop with their blue flax seed tortilla chips. Luvie also made his famous guacamole and broiled tuna toasties and it was phenom!
Back to my stories....We went to a fairly large health food store and well, when you are with my parents, you might as well be carrying a calculator because they are calculating every penny that goes into that basket. Then I wanted a small bottled water for the rest of the trip but they had to remind me that a gallon of water was less than a dollar and a 16 ozer was $1.29 so I'd be saving a lot of money.(yes we bought gallons instead) Another way of saving money was the store had a members club where you would get anywhere from 10 to 20% off of food. So my mother went to the Customer Service desk and was signing up and then the lady said, "That will be $12.00 but when you turn 65 yrs it will only be $5.00." My mother said Oh, I am 65 and the lady didn't believe her and said, "I need to see your license." (She was taken in just as everyone else is by my mothers beautiful, healthy glowing skin)
So we get back on the freeway again and this time mothers driving and I'm in the shotgun seat while dad sits in the back because he said he wanted to relax. But he didnt seem to relax for too long because soon we were hearing,"Honey go straight, honey watch that car, honey are you sure your supposed to turn off there." By the 3rd or 4 time of hearing, "Honey" Mother and I busted out laughing we could not stop and then dad started laughing. It was so funny because dad was totally trying to tell my mother how to drive. And well, if you know my mother she has a mind of her own:-)
Well another incident I observed was...My mother and I went to the Library and when we went to check out, the lady at the front desk was a total snob to us. I mean she was so demeaning and snippity. Of course sweet little me wanted to snap right back and tell her to quit being a wretched witch. But I refrained and just stood there and instead watched my mother kill this lady's sour attitude with kindness. I watched mother stand there and give the lady her undivided attention and they began discussing the things in life. Wait! Did I see the lady smile? I did. OMW, she is chuckling now! My mother somehow got inside of the grouchy lady(hag:-). And do you know by the time we were ready to go that she was all smiles and going out of her way asking if there was anything else she could help us with. I was truly amazed. Once again I watched a classy lady (my mother)see through the eyes of Jesus instead of her own eyes. She told me later that she too was miffed at the ladies hateful attitude but that such a big wave of compassion came over her for that lady. Wow is right! I so need to see more through the eyes of HIM! Have I let myself become so modernized and perhaps have even allowed some of the methods and attitudes in the Christian Community to distort my view on humanity? I'm not talking about helping the homeless, abused, and the other things that seem to be the hype and "in thing" to do. (of course its all limelight stuff so people gravitate to it) Don't shoot me down....(These are all incredible things we need to be doing) But I just wonder if we didn't get recognition for doing these things and we weren't able to brag about ourselves for doing such great things would we still do them? I had a "moment" this past week to where I was one of those "out of control" females. Yeah me crying profusely and not from depression but from Jesus dealing with me about "My motives" and "My dreams/passions." Seeing through HIS eyes even when no one is looking. I watch my parents live a life that is the same when in a crowd and when alone with just a few of us. To be kind even to those who hurt you. "Oh God" I even prayed later that night, "Please let me see through your eyes and not be so self-absorbed and make it just about me." Needless to say as much fun as I have had with them I have been humbled, thankful and challenged to go beyond the norm yet again. These two people know what its like to fight the good fight. They know what its like to be at the top (in people's eyes) but yet they know what its like to feel pain, and to bleed but at the same time stay the course and hold on to the Only One who can get them through and give them inner peace that so many people are craving to have right now at this moment. I struggle inwardly at times, I'm so full of myself. Why? I ask myself. "Do I struggle with material things? and "Why do I allow myself at times to become immune and feel the need to fit in with the crowds who reason away why God didn't do this and that? Who analyze JESUS way too much so then nothing can happen because after all we are much smarter than Him aren't we? We know more than He does right? Of course I'm being fecicious.
People see my parents....They see all they have done and yes they are two incredible people. But yet, it did not come without a price. While on the way home after leaving them Asbel and I discussed the challenges we are facing and even amongst our peers. A very self-absorbed era we live in indeed for its all about "ME"...I raise my hand to say, "Yes me guilty too." We want the "Glamour" without the price.
Can my generation and the generation behind me still pay the price or should I say stay in the heat of the battle? When someone hurts us do we whine? Do we fight back or do we pray and give it to God? When we are at the bottom do we call 5 of our friends first before we take it to Jesus? We say we want to go to heaven, then shouldn't we put Him first in everything? Why do some compromise and make up excuses as to why prayer, fasting, filtering what goes in/out of the mind, and faith isn't necessary anymore?
I'm sure everyone has an opinion as to why. I really dont care about the thousands of reasons as to why anymore. I am preaching to myself...I say I long to go deeper in HIM but do I really?
For me I have determined in my heart that I will fight to keep these important methods that some deem as "old-fashion" and "things of the past" a part of my lifestyle. Will it be challenging and difficult? I'm sure it will be. Look around us, we are bombarded with new age christianity...Hello!
Monday, April 19, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
This morning I sat myself on the floor near the couch as I often do and pulled out Mothers prescription book called, "Diamonds for Dusty Roads." I began to read the medicine she prescribed for April 15th and it hit me in the face and tears became my friend during that sweet moment. It went something like this. "Now therefore give me this mountain" Joshua 14:12 She goes on to talk about dreams and not letting them die. Oh how I needed that today. Noone can stop you from dreaming unless you allow them to.
Ephesians 6:12 tells us that we are in a spiritual warfare. Sometimes you do have to war in the spirit on behalf of your dreams. The roadblocks in your life that come and try to derail you can include (people, things, unhealthy environments and so on) About a month ago, I was so heavy in my spirit, and it wasnt one of those that lasted just a few hours. But it lasted for days. I frequently found myself on the floor in our closet. I had to shut out everything and focus (My husband knows when I'm in there with the door shut that I am usually praying/interceding)I would like to take a moment and give honor to my mother who by example taught me how to pray and have a relationship with Him. She still often tells me that more people need to learn to zip their lips and harness their tongue and pour more of themselves out to Jesus.(I'm so still learning)
I am in the midst of reading (2) great books. Sometimes I almost have to put down one book and go to the other because they are so in sync. They are so on the same level and they challenge my human side and motivate me to jump across the bridge into Positve Bliss. Cindy Trimm, "Commanding your Morning." and then Joy Haney, "Power of Speaking Positive."
Cindy says, "Every battle is won or lost in the arena of your mind."
Joy says, "Noone can ride the racing horse of passion and tumultuous thoughts that rear and buck within you. You are the only person to hold the reigns and the bridle of your tongue."
Cindy says, "Do not be a victim. Call the shots and change your destiny."
Joy says, "Speak before a victory, David spoke before the victory." (I Samual 17:37)
Life is already hard, our minds are a battlefield, and our words are an extension of who we are. The choice is ours! We will either feed our faith or confirm our fears!
Ephesians 6:12 tells us that we are in a spiritual warfare. Sometimes you do have to war in the spirit on behalf of your dreams. The roadblocks in your life that come and try to derail you can include (people, things, unhealthy environments and so on) About a month ago, I was so heavy in my spirit, and it wasnt one of those that lasted just a few hours. But it lasted for days. I frequently found myself on the floor in our closet. I had to shut out everything and focus (My husband knows when I'm in there with the door shut that I am usually praying/interceding)I would like to take a moment and give honor to my mother who by example taught me how to pray and have a relationship with Him. She still often tells me that more people need to learn to zip their lips and harness their tongue and pour more of themselves out to Jesus.(I'm so still learning)
I am in the midst of reading (2) great books. Sometimes I almost have to put down one book and go to the other because they are so in sync. They are so on the same level and they challenge my human side and motivate me to jump across the bridge into Positve Bliss. Cindy Trimm, "Commanding your Morning." and then Joy Haney, "Power of Speaking Positive."
Cindy says, "Every battle is won or lost in the arena of your mind."
Joy says, "Noone can ride the racing horse of passion and tumultuous thoughts that rear and buck within you. You are the only person to hold the reigns and the bridle of your tongue."
Cindy says, "Do not be a victim. Call the shots and change your destiny."
Joy says, "Speak before a victory, David spoke before the victory." (I Samual 17:37)
Life is already hard, our minds are a battlefield, and our words are an extension of who we are. The choice is ours! We will either feed our faith or confirm our fears!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Masking the inside (Part I)
For centuries in various cultures people have worn masks for different functions and purposes. It can be used to change one's identity, transform oneself into a new character, and for protection. So you see we have become quite acclimated to the mask system and may I point out that its not often you hear somebody speaking out against it. You know why? Because we love the concept of "wearing a mask." I mean how cool is it that we can actually pretend, and go into our own fantasy world and hide what is going on inside. So why would we want to take off the mask and actually live in the real world that is oftentimes painful and difficult to face.
I think it's fair to say that we all put a mask on at times, it's just easier. Who really wants to clean out their inward closet, it takes honesty and looking in the mirror at ourselves to realize things are not as they seem.
So, the question for all of us would be, "How big are our closets?" If I were to walk into your house (inwardly speaking) would you have a walk-in closet full of different masks, or do you just have two or three masks that hang neatly on the coat rack in the hallway? Some have been wearing a variety of different masks for so long that they have fooled even themselves into believing that their "false" reality is the "real" reality. And some have overwhelmingly fooled even the society that they are in close proximity with that they are this perfect person.
(3 examples of professional mask wearers)
1) They blame everyone else for the way they are and have chosen to wear the "victim" mask to the point that it's become who they are, always the victim. It seems to work for them since they have learned to manipulate those around them. They watch as their friends and loved ones jump hoops for them and now cater to them to a fault! It's now at the point where it's no longer about helping them but instead they enable the manipulative person who wears the "victim" mask.
2) What about the person in a relationship who is hiding the hell that is going on at home. The abuse and the sticky web that their spouse has them in has messed with their mind so much that they are now in a tug-a-war struggling with suicidal thoughts, low self-esteem and at the same time longing to fly free. The love they once had has now turned to hatred and anger. Now that mask I can relate to having been there in the past.
3) The minister's wife looks the part...She looks concerned-then smiles and gently tells the person who just rambled for an hour to her about their problems that they are going to be just fine. But at the same time she is asking herself, "Am I going to make it?" Can I get through another day?" Maybe its for different reasons-she feels vulnerable, in a rut, or maybe her husband is married to his ministry and has no time for her. But then maybe she is tired of living everyone else's dream and wants to pursue her own. She feels stuck, dead inside but yet she has become so good with masking the frustration and anger inside that nobody has a clue that this wonderful lady is about to croak and call it quits.
So, you are saying that you have never been like the (3) examples that I have mentioned? Well unfortunately and sadly I must confess that I have been at least one of them...So maybe that is why I'm writing about it because I have experienced it first-hand.
Have you ever been hurt? Has someone talked about you and tried to assissinate your character? Are you estranged from your parents, child or someone you love? Are you divorced and don't know where you fit in? You long to be loved but opening your heart again to someone else scares you to death. Were you abused when you were a child but yet you still have never faced it head-on and sought counseling/help? Have you forgiven those who have hurt you? Do you still blame God for the pain in your past? Are you in a difficult situation that is tearing you apart? Do you feel dead inside but smile on the outside? Are you tired of always pretending? Okay so I could keep going on and on with this...I think anybody reading this can relate to one of these if not you will one day, since we live in this world called, "Life."
If you said yes to one of the questions above then I think its pretty fair to say that you most likely are wearing a mask to cover up what your face is revealing. moment. I'm not saying to let it all hang out and tell the whole world but you do need to face it at some point in your life and quit procrastinating. First off, God is the coolest one to talk to about it. I mean I have poured my heart out to Him, cried buckets of tears and then have sat quietly meditating on His word. Secondly, Counseling helps to fix what is going on inside, and as I've heard my husband say many times, "Counseling helps bring the scum up to the top and then Jesus takes it all away." Surround yourself with someone/s who can be trusted, can give sound advice and who will listen instead of doing all of the talking. Also beware of friends who think that they are the ruler over your life and act as your guru. Being in that situation for too long is not healthy. There is a difference with giving sound advice and then someone making your every move as if you are one of their pieces in their game of chess. So not cool!
Trust me I know all about wearing the different masks. I may have to revisit my past, and pull out the chest that is buried in the cellar. Then pick out one of the books, wipe off the dust and read you some of the paragraphs that are in the chapters called, "my past."
I think it's fair to say that we all put a mask on at times, it's just easier. Who really wants to clean out their inward closet, it takes honesty and looking in the mirror at ourselves to realize things are not as they seem.
So, the question for all of us would be, "How big are our closets?" If I were to walk into your house (inwardly speaking) would you have a walk-in closet full of different masks, or do you just have two or three masks that hang neatly on the coat rack in the hallway? Some have been wearing a variety of different masks for so long that they have fooled even themselves into believing that their "false" reality is the "real" reality. And some have overwhelmingly fooled even the society that they are in close proximity with that they are this perfect person.
(3 examples of professional mask wearers)
1) They blame everyone else for the way they are and have chosen to wear the "victim" mask to the point that it's become who they are, always the victim. It seems to work for them since they have learned to manipulate those around them. They watch as their friends and loved ones jump hoops for them and now cater to them to a fault! It's now at the point where it's no longer about helping them but instead they enable the manipulative person who wears the "victim" mask.
2) What about the person in a relationship who is hiding the hell that is going on at home. The abuse and the sticky web that their spouse has them in has messed with their mind so much that they are now in a tug-a-war struggling with suicidal thoughts, low self-esteem and at the same time longing to fly free. The love they once had has now turned to hatred and anger. Now that mask I can relate to having been there in the past.
3) The minister's wife looks the part...She looks concerned-then smiles and gently tells the person who just rambled for an hour to her about their problems that they are going to be just fine. But at the same time she is asking herself, "Am I going to make it?" Can I get through another day?" Maybe its for different reasons-she feels vulnerable, in a rut, or maybe her husband is married to his ministry and has no time for her. But then maybe she is tired of living everyone else's dream and wants to pursue her own. She feels stuck, dead inside but yet she has become so good with masking the frustration and anger inside that nobody has a clue that this wonderful lady is about to croak and call it quits.
So, you are saying that you have never been like the (3) examples that I have mentioned? Well unfortunately and sadly I must confess that I have been at least one of them...So maybe that is why I'm writing about it because I have experienced it first-hand.
Have you ever been hurt? Has someone talked about you and tried to assissinate your character? Are you estranged from your parents, child or someone you love? Are you divorced and don't know where you fit in? You long to be loved but opening your heart again to someone else scares you to death. Were you abused when you were a child but yet you still have never faced it head-on and sought counseling/help? Have you forgiven those who have hurt you? Do you still blame God for the pain in your past? Are you in a difficult situation that is tearing you apart? Do you feel dead inside but smile on the outside? Are you tired of always pretending? Okay so I could keep going on and on with this...I think anybody reading this can relate to one of these if not you will one day, since we live in this world called, "Life."
If you said yes to one of the questions above then I think its pretty fair to say that you most likely are wearing a mask to cover up what your face is revealing. moment. I'm not saying to let it all hang out and tell the whole world but you do need to face it at some point in your life and quit procrastinating. First off, God is the coolest one to talk to about it. I mean I have poured my heart out to Him, cried buckets of tears and then have sat quietly meditating on His word. Secondly, Counseling helps to fix what is going on inside, and as I've heard my husband say many times, "Counseling helps bring the scum up to the top and then Jesus takes it all away." Surround yourself with someone/s who can be trusted, can give sound advice and who will listen instead of doing all of the talking. Also beware of friends who think that they are the ruler over your life and act as your guru. Being in that situation for too long is not healthy. There is a difference with giving sound advice and then someone making your every move as if you are one of their pieces in their game of chess. So not cool!
Trust me I know all about wearing the different masks. I may have to revisit my past, and pull out the chest that is buried in the cellar. Then pick out one of the books, wipe off the dust and read you some of the paragraphs that are in the chapters called, "my past."
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Love to cook and sharing...
I love to cook! I am one that doesn't follow recipes too well though, I usually add in my own touch:-)
This past Friday night I made a special dinner for my luvie. It was an amazing italianish dish...lightly sauteed the chicken in some olive oil, I then added in some garlic, basil and onion and let it cook for a bit.(I also seasoned with an herb mixture, pepper, and salt) Once everything was cooked pretty well I added in a good amount of tomato sauce to give it a nice creamy texture. I do tend to always add some spice to my foods so I threw in a dash of Red chili pepper flakes. (not too much just enough to give it a kick) Then boiled some whole wheat pasta, once cooked I drained and tossed in a tad bit of olive oil and then poured "Stephenie's creativity" over the pasta. (sprinkle some freshly grated Parm chz on top) I then broiled some garlic bread that had just a smudge of butter on it and then an amazing salad. Asbel ate it up in a timely manner, it was delish!
Last night I lightly sauteed a chicken breast in olive oil and cut up small chunks of garlic (we tend to put garlic in everything) since we are both huge garlic lovers. I then added to the mix some garlic powder, herbs and black pepper. I always add just a pinch of salt since Asbel is a huge "salt" lover. Once the chicken was cooked fairly well, I poured my worcestershire sauce mix into the pan and simmered on low for just a few minutes. Now on to the salad-it was incredible! I added some plum tomatoes and sliced them onto the organic baby lettuce, then cut up some red onion. I then sliced up avacados and mixed everything in together. The dressing goes something like this. Blend either in a blender or in a food processor. 1-2 cloves of garlic all depending on how much garlic you can handle. Then add in as much olive oil as you want to your liking and same goes for the Balsamic vinegar. Then squeeze 1/2 a lemon in there, then add some Greek seasonings in there and blend really well. Phenom is all I can say. Asbel licked the plate clean:-)
Today I tried my friend Deidre Cravy's Salsa recipe, absolutely amazing! I chowed down on it but it was "very" spicy and that is because I added fresh jalapenos instead of canned. Well, somehow the seeds slipped in the batch and boy was my mouth on fire and no not from Asbel's kisses but from the kisses of a jalapeno. But I ate almost all of it. I'm going to make it again and will be more careful with the jalapenos because Asbel doesn't like his mouth burning like I do:-) I like it hot and spicy, I take after my daddy who loves it when his nose is running from it being so spicy. And of course being a CA native has made me sometimes think I am half mexicano. I'll let you know how the next salsa mix turns out. Thx Deidre for sharing.
Last night I made these amazing strawberry/coconut bars too and just posted it on my stephrecipe blog.
I will work on posting the other recipes on my recipe blog but the problem is I don't always measure so I'll do my best to give some clear direction with each recipe.
This past Friday night I made a special dinner for my luvie. It was an amazing italianish dish...lightly sauteed the chicken in some olive oil, I then added in some garlic, basil and onion and let it cook for a bit.(I also seasoned with an herb mixture, pepper, and salt) Once everything was cooked pretty well I added in a good amount of tomato sauce to give it a nice creamy texture. I do tend to always add some spice to my foods so I threw in a dash of Red chili pepper flakes. (not too much just enough to give it a kick) Then boiled some whole wheat pasta, once cooked I drained and tossed in a tad bit of olive oil and then poured "Stephenie's creativity" over the pasta. (sprinkle some freshly grated Parm chz on top) I then broiled some garlic bread that had just a smudge of butter on it and then an amazing salad. Asbel ate it up in a timely manner, it was delish!
Last night I lightly sauteed a chicken breast in olive oil and cut up small chunks of garlic (we tend to put garlic in everything) since we are both huge garlic lovers. I then added to the mix some garlic powder, herbs and black pepper. I always add just a pinch of salt since Asbel is a huge "salt" lover. Once the chicken was cooked fairly well, I poured my worcestershire sauce mix into the pan and simmered on low for just a few minutes. Now on to the salad-it was incredible! I added some plum tomatoes and sliced them onto the organic baby lettuce, then cut up some red onion. I then sliced up avacados and mixed everything in together. The dressing goes something like this. Blend either in a blender or in a food processor. 1-2 cloves of garlic all depending on how much garlic you can handle. Then add in as much olive oil as you want to your liking and same goes for the Balsamic vinegar. Then squeeze 1/2 a lemon in there, then add some Greek seasonings in there and blend really well. Phenom is all I can say. Asbel licked the plate clean:-)
Today I tried my friend Deidre Cravy's Salsa recipe, absolutely amazing! I chowed down on it but it was "very" spicy and that is because I added fresh jalapenos instead of canned. Well, somehow the seeds slipped in the batch and boy was my mouth on fire and no not from Asbel's kisses but from the kisses of a jalapeno. But I ate almost all of it. I'm going to make it again and will be more careful with the jalapenos because Asbel doesn't like his mouth burning like I do:-) I like it hot and spicy, I take after my daddy who loves it when his nose is running from it being so spicy. And of course being a CA native has made me sometimes think I am half mexicano. I'll let you know how the next salsa mix turns out. Thx Deidre for sharing.
Last night I made these amazing strawberry/coconut bars too and just posted it on my stephrecipe blog.
I will work on posting the other recipes on my recipe blog but the problem is I don't always measure so I'll do my best to give some clear direction with each recipe.
Also have had several requests to blog about health tips-that is something I will work on. It is another passion of mine too and I can probably get my mother to give some insight on it too.
To view recipes go to my complete profile then to blogs and its under stephsrecipes.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Where is HE on the diagram called, "Life?"
The alarm goes off on my blackberry and I hit the snooze button. I then hear my husband's iPhone alarm going off and he too hits the snooze button. We just want to stay in bed and continue sleeping, I mean why would we want to get up. Sound familiar?
Finally I make myself get up, my eyes focus on the time, it's 5:45am. Urg, I'm 15 minutes behind schedule. I throw my workout clothes on and take off to work it out.
I rush back to the Apartment, jump in the shower, begin getting dressed. I then kiss my luvie goodbye and usually admire his attire since he is always looks amazing. He then rushes off to work. I then take a deep breath and say, "Okay God I know I have to slow down and say hi, and thank You for another day." And you know often tears will well up in my eyes and trickle down my face as the realization hits me that I am blessed. Today I can walk, talk, think straight, move my hands, comb my hair and get dressed with no assistance. But have I allowed these blessings to become so monotonous that I actually forget who gave them all to me? "Oh God forgive me." I say. " Without You I cannot do another day, I need You."So I pray for a bit and then read one of my mother's devotional books and then study my bible. I begin to read some scriptures and then lose concentration after realizing that I have to be at work in 30 minutes.
I throw on my clothes, toss my hair back/forth, and usually do my health regimen while grabbing a yogurt. By then I am running out the door and rushing to work. Does this sound familiar? We all have different things pulling at us. There is always going to be something that will distract us from Him. Its just the way it is..Life it seems almost has hidden traps to try and derail us away from what our purpose really should be.
Me so guilty!
For some time now, He has tugged at my heart about my 1 on 1 time with Him.If I was to do a survey and ask where your bible is right now what would be your answer? Underneath your 5 best reads, in storage, on the shelf collecting dust? Or is it close enough to you for you to grab when desperation hits and/or are you one that can get lost in those wonderful stories, prophecies and reading about who He is?
Why are we so prone to giving to material things when in reality it only brings temporary gratification? But reading His word,and having a relationship with Him is going to last for ever and ever. Why is that so hard to grasp? Because often if you are like me, you too sometimes struggle to be consistent with HIM.
I am a very disciplined person most of the time, I tend to take after my parents in that field.(my husband can vouch for me) So Jesus is very much a part of my agenda. But and a big But I am constantly being pulled by tangible things, everyday situations, and the biggest pull comes from this world we call, "life."...So I have to stay on top of it and oftentimes I find myself longing to just get off alone with Him so I can take the blinders off of my eyes-totally refocus-then I actually can see through His eyes and everything is much clearer.
We have no problem watching our favorite TV shows, eating, working out, talking on the phone for hours, texting non-stop, emailing, surfing internet, tweeter, FB, shopping for hours, and pleasing "us." maybe even working on the job as if we cant get enough and the list never stops does it? Or perhaps you are heavily involved in a organic, traditional, progressive and whatever else kind of church is out there in this era...You are so involved and you can dance circles around the average person on the street when it comes to church stuff/your kingdom/your ministry. But do you really know Him? Hows that 1 on 1 time going with Him? Just something that has been on my mind a lot!
So ask yourself these questions as I have asked myself. Where is HE on my diagram? Where is He on my agenda? Where is HE in my life? Where is HE in my thoughts? Where is He when I make decisions? Does He know that I value Him above everything else or does He feel that I have put Him in a box? Do I only on special occasions take Him out and say, "Hey God, I need you, I have a problem can you fix it?" He is more than that, deserves to be at the top of our daily "To do" list.
Finally I make myself get up, my eyes focus on the time, it's 5:45am. Urg, I'm 15 minutes behind schedule. I throw my workout clothes on and take off to work it out.
I rush back to the Apartment, jump in the shower, begin getting dressed. I then kiss my luvie goodbye and usually admire his attire since he is always looks amazing. He then rushes off to work. I then take a deep breath and say, "Okay God I know I have to slow down and say hi, and thank You for another day." And you know often tears will well up in my eyes and trickle down my face as the realization hits me that I am blessed. Today I can walk, talk, think straight, move my hands, comb my hair and get dressed with no assistance. But have I allowed these blessings to become so monotonous that I actually forget who gave them all to me? "Oh God forgive me." I say. " Without You I cannot do another day, I need You."So I pray for a bit and then read one of my mother's devotional books and then study my bible. I begin to read some scriptures and then lose concentration after realizing that I have to be at work in 30 minutes.
I throw on my clothes, toss my hair back/forth, and usually do my health regimen while grabbing a yogurt. By then I am running out the door and rushing to work. Does this sound familiar? We all have different things pulling at us. There is always going to be something that will distract us from Him. Its just the way it is..Life it seems almost has hidden traps to try and derail us away from what our purpose really should be.
Me so guilty!
For some time now, He has tugged at my heart about my 1 on 1 time with Him.If I was to do a survey and ask where your bible is right now what would be your answer? Underneath your 5 best reads, in storage, on the shelf collecting dust? Or is it close enough to you for you to grab when desperation hits and/or are you one that can get lost in those wonderful stories, prophecies and reading about who He is?
Why are we so prone to giving to material things when in reality it only brings temporary gratification? But reading His word,and having a relationship with Him is going to last for ever and ever. Why is that so hard to grasp? Because often if you are like me, you too sometimes struggle to be consistent with HIM.
I am a very disciplined person most of the time, I tend to take after my parents in that field.(my husband can vouch for me) So Jesus is very much a part of my agenda. But and a big But I am constantly being pulled by tangible things, everyday situations, and the biggest pull comes from this world we call, "life."...So I have to stay on top of it and oftentimes I find myself longing to just get off alone with Him so I can take the blinders off of my eyes-totally refocus-then I actually can see through His eyes and everything is much clearer.
We have no problem watching our favorite TV shows, eating, working out, talking on the phone for hours, texting non-stop, emailing, surfing internet, tweeter, FB, shopping for hours, and pleasing "us." maybe even working on the job as if we cant get enough and the list never stops does it? Or perhaps you are heavily involved in a organic, traditional, progressive and whatever else kind of church is out there in this era...You are so involved and you can dance circles around the average person on the street when it comes to church stuff/your kingdom/your ministry. But do you really know Him? Hows that 1 on 1 time going with Him? Just something that has been on my mind a lot!
So ask yourself these questions as I have asked myself. Where is HE on my diagram? Where is He on my agenda? Where is HE in my life? Where is HE in my thoughts? Where is He when I make decisions? Does He know that I value Him above everything else or does He feel that I have put Him in a box? Do I only on special occasions take Him out and say, "Hey God, I need you, I have a problem can you fix it?" He is more than that, deserves to be at the top of our daily "To do" list.
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